Just some of the messed up stuff that happens out there...

Beer Economics 101 -

You brought in a lot of people, but they didn't drink enough beer!

Booking Agent, The Starry Plough, Berkeley, California

The always thoughtful booking agent -

Oh, we forgot to tell you that we booked the club for a private party. The owner's best friend died.
But you are welcome to stay for the party!

Booking Agent, San Francisco, California

Our most "versatile" drummer -

Hey, I brought my guitar, so can someone play drums on ZZ Top's "Waitin' for the bus?"

Drummer #4, Random Dudes, Oakland, California

A dedicated follower of fashion -

Sorry I was late to the show; I couldn't find my kilt.

Drummer #3, Random Dudes, Sacramento, California

Asked with a straight
face -

How many people could you bring in for a 1 AM show on Monday?

Ramona, Bottom of the Hill, San Francisco, California

Showtime bingo -

The second band asked to go on early, so can you guys take the last slot?

Booking Agent, Oakland, California

Other than that, how'd you like the show? -

Hey guys, I need you to go on tonight without your drummer. We won't have enough
time to set up the Tubes' kit if we set yours up, too.

Wally, Maestro's, San Ramon, California (Opening for The Tubes)

Secret handshake -

OK guys, when I walk by the stage and thumb my nose like this, that means
you should only play one more song.

Wally, Maestro's, San Ramon, California (Opening for Dave Mason)"

Don't mind if I do -

Do you guys know "Knockin' On Heaven's Door?" During your set,
I'm gonna come up and sing it with you.

Booking Agent, Ace Cafe, San Francisco, California

Assaulted Nuts -

Honey, are you into this kind of thing? Someone left this video,
"Assaulted Nuts" in here from the adult video shop across the street. Would you like to have it?

Mary, The Stork Club, Oakland, California

All dressed up and nowhere to play -

Kumusta-ka-po, Paddy?! What you guys doin' here?, This no longer live band club.
We run Filipino karaoke club now. You no play tonight!

Owner of karaoke club that replaced Shel's 6th Street Rendezvous, San Francisco, California